Friday, November 30, 2007

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Fiend

Once upon a time there lived a young girl who dreamed of marrying a handsome prince. He would gallop up to her on a white steed, wearing tights, tell her she's beautiful, and throw an armful of red roses at her. "Oh!" she'd exclaim, "they smell just heavenly!" and she'd look up to realize he's now down on one knee, opening a small velvet box, and even before he opens it, she knows... she knows....

...that it's a 2 carat princess cut solitaire diamond held by four prongs on a 4mm 14k gold band. It's the ring she's dreamed about since she was eight. Dazzled by the rainbow sparkles reflecting into her eyes, there's nothing she can do but breathe, "yes!"

Because every girl is an expert on diamond engagement rings. Every girl must know exactly what cut, clarity, and setting they want when they're proposed to, because a girl can never be too prepared. Right?

I guess I missed the memo. Recently I found myself bewildered as I combed through pages and pages of this particular brand of women's accessories, coming across scary foreign words like "marquise," "inclusions," and "forever." As I looked and read through countless designs, I began to feel like I was falling deeper and deeper down a neverending hole of "why?" Why do I want one of these again?

-Because a hundred years ago, DeBeers told us that "A Diamond is Forever."
-Because girls like sparkly things.
-Because girls like expensive things.
-Because everyone for the rest of your life will ask to see it so they can ooh and aah while secretly judging you for your taste and the size of your fiance's bank account.

Well, I thought, I'm not going to let the world tell me what I want. No diamond for me! Maybe I'll get my ring made out of ivory obtained from my boyfriend hunting down a wild elephant in Africa. Or maybe I want one made of Alaskan Jade, and make him climb up and down Mt. McKinley, just to make it harder. Or maybe I want him to go to the moon and get me a moon rock.

But then I think, when it all comes down to it, they're just rings, no matter what they're made of. Will any ring really mean more to me than another? Am I just trying to skirt the responsibility of decision-making, but really making it even more complicated than it already is?

Maybe it would be easier to get a diamond after all.